How do you take your metaphors, shaken or stirred

Spam Subject Line of the Moment, Episode 5:

Success is a fish that is pulled from an ocean. Swim with the big fish, wear PRADA

Okay...so...let me get this straight. Success is a fish, and you want me to pull out the fish. Then where do the fish and I swim? In the pool, what?

Or do you mean I should swim with a different fish? A big fish? The Prada Fish?

I'm so confused. Like a fish outside of the box.

Spam Subject Line of the Moment: Episode 4

Forget about the trouble with your male instrument.

Friends don't let friends play the bagpipes.

Spam Subject Line of the Moment, Episode Three

...Revenge of the Spam

If your warrior of love is too small, you may lose this war

"Warrior of Love?" Isn't that the new reality show on Fox?

No, wait.

Wasn't that what Captain Planet called his sidekicks?

Um um, no...

Oh! Maybe you mean this Warrior?



Heh. Steamy.



The fine print, obviously. Image found via Google Image Search at Barnes & Noble. Warrior of Love was written by Rebecca York and Ruth Glick, and is published by Harlequin Books. Image is copyright the original authors, and will be removed upon request. It's used here for the purposes of parody.

Spam Subject Line of the Moment, Episode 2

You deserve to not be ignored by women!

See there, isn't that nice? Not all spam is bad. Sometimes, it can offer valuable affirmations.

Not that I'm ignored by women. Not at all. I'm engaged, so I have a woman who has to pay attention to me, contractually.

Spam Subject Line of the Moment

Flinstone porn toons

Ewwww...Does anybody actually go looking for this stuff?

If you do, please don't reply in the comments.